Caring for your Soul

Love Note/Rising Waters of Love

I wish to offer you a poem by May Sarton . For me this poem is as much a timely spiritual prophecy as it is a statement of great personal comfort. May it warm your heart as much as it does mine.

Of Molluscs

As the tide rises, the closed mollusc

Opens a fraction to the ocean’s food,

Bathed in its riches. Do not ask

What force would do, or if force could.

A knife is of no use against a fortress.

You might break it to pieces as gulls do.

No, only the rising tide and its slow progress

Opens the shell. Lovers, I tell you true.

You who have held yourselves closed hard

Against warm sun and wind, shelled up in fears

And hostile to a touch or tender word –

The ocean rises, salt as unshed tears.

Now you are floated on this gentle flood

That cannot force or be forced, welcome food

Salt as your tears, the rich ocean’s blood,

Eat, rest, be nourished on the tide of love.

Love Note/Speaking of Hurt

Continuing with my musings on ways to understand and process our emotions, today it occurred to me that I’ve got some conflicting thoughts on what to do with emotional pain, and that writing about them and hearing your thoughts as well (please comment below) could help me resolve them.

So here’s the dilemma….

On the one hand I believe that my feelings – no matter what anyone (apparently) does or says to me – are 99% about me – my cellular memories, beliefs and imprints, my karma and current stage of spiritual evolution, and my soul’s plans for me – all of which created the experience in the first place as a way of helping me learn and grow. And that, therefore, it’s up to me to address the hurt within myself. In other words, no one can fix for me what was created within me.

On the other hand I believe that the relationship aspect is important to – that total honesty, including about all our feelings, is critical to relationships, that our experiences are CO-creations that develop through social interaction, and that feedback and compassionate response can be critical factors when it comes to noticing our effect on the world (in order to become more effective in the ways we consciously choose to be) as well as recognizing and healing our triggers.

After all, we do have the ability to communicate for a reason.

So here are the questions:

Could we heal and evolve in isolation?

Is talking about a hurt – even sometimes to the point of screaming or crying to someone else – a necessary element of the alchemy of transformation or is it much less helpful than heretofore believed?

Can even blame become a path to growth if responded to in a way that helps the one doing it shift the perspective and reclaim their power and the one committing the perceived offense become more aware, emotionally skilled and compassionate?

Or put another way: Is there anything that is better left unsaid?

I invite your comments.

Love Note/What Healing Feels Like

I recently heard from a woman who, in addition to being a good friend of mine, is also a serious student of spiritual and energetic healing, and has worked with me many times over the years. Over the course of a few days recently she raised some questions about the process she was going through and I answered in an exchange of emails.

I thought others might benefit from reading our exchange and she graciously agreed to let me publish it. For the sake of her privacy I’m referring to her by the initials FC.

May you find it interesting, encouraging and valuable in your own healing process!

FC wrote:

I “almost” called you yesterday to run something by you…
Have gotten in touch with some rage as of late (and better late than never).
Even though it is extremely unpleasant, I sense that I must honor its force (how does one “honor” a tsunami?) because it brings valuable information albeit in a dramatic way. My question is about discerning how long to honor it. There is a concern that if I let go too soon, I might forget or overlook the information it brings. On the other hand, if I hold onto to it too long, it can do damage to me physically and emotionally. Any thoughts or opinions…?

Reply from me:

On rage –
What damages is the suppression or EXpression of it (the latter meaning acting on it), NOT feeling it fully. So don’t worry about the time.
Think of yourself as a tsunami and expand (be the wave) by breathing into your solar plexus – you may also use your voice and your limbs (in a safe way).
Eventually (and it usually doesn’t take that long) one of two things – maybe both – will happen:
1) the anger will dissipate as you begin to feel much bigger than the injustice committed against you, and/or
2) you’ll get in touch with the belief about yourself that created the anger and have something to work on clearing/shifting (with EFT, Healing Codes, whatever).
The whole process can actually feel quite liberating.

FC:

I must be doing something right because I’ve experienced both of the outcomes you mentioned by staying with the tsunami. However, I take “exception” to the word injustice in the singular; for the wave to be so large its origin was traced to multiple injustices over many years. Although the initial injustice may have been the most damaging, the subsequent ones only seemed to deepen the original wound, so to speak.

And so it is hard for me to feel that I am larger than the injustices. Also, I have a Christ complex, for lack of a better word. I often feel that I have taken on a level of pain very deeply so that others may be spared on some level. I think you know me well enough to realize this is not coming from a place of ego. It may just be that this belief emerged along the way to help me tolerate my particular circumstances, that by dedicating it to a higher purpose rather than an orgy of self-pity, I was in fact transmuting the pain….

Of course I believe that with the current changes on the planet, we, as a species no longer require suffering as a learning tool. If that is the case, why am I still “doing” suffering? Perhaps(answering my own question), I am near the end of this wave and feel pulled strongly by the outgoing tide. And the good news, if there is any, is that I have progressed to suffering/struggling mindfully.

Yours for the greater good, 🙂

Me:

I hear you and understand about the “Christ complex” as you call it.
As we are all powerful creators, whatever you believe about where you are with it IS true for you! Once you have a new belief, the experience will change. Your soul really does want you to feel great, which requires changing some beliefs.
Today I realized that I still had a belief that I deserve punishment (because several things have happened that have felt like that).
So I decided to install the new belief that I am done with punishment. I just held the intention until my subconscious aligned itself with the new belief and gave me a confirming signal). Lo and behold a lot of the lower emotions disappeared. You might want to try the equivalent of that for yourself.

I’ll talk with you again soon.

Love and light,

Ellen

P.S. I’ll be very happy to read your comments!

Love Note/When is a handicap a gift?

Today my good friend Lynnea sent me a video about an autistic boy. (You’ll find a link to the video at the end of this post.) I won’t give away the details, but you know the plot: A person overcomes a handicap to accomplish something amazing, their achievement is celebrated and emotionally shared by lots of people, and the viewer sheds a lot of happy tears.

This was one of several videos in the same genre I’ve seen recently, and it’s gotten me thinking about the entire issue of disability and how it relates to those of us who find ourselves in the fortunate position of being able-bodied and fairly healthy. What I realized shocked me at first, and then unfolded into a revelation that has since become one of the major spiritual themes in my current life. I now pass it on to you in the hopes that it may assist you in your own spiritual evolution.

First the shocking part – I found myself envying the handicapped subjects of the videos – their perseverance, their certainty of their path, the mastery they achieved, and the bond they formed with those who witnessed the results. I asked myself why can’t I do those things? And would it be easier if I had a tangible handicap to overcome?

Of course I immediately tried to cancel this question (since thoughts create, and what could be created here feels a little scary), but it was too late, and anyway, I assured myself, I know better than to resist the flow of a thought that is about to uncover a major piece of my shadow. To the contrary, I welcome it, since I have come to love my shadow as much as my light, as they are but two sides of the same coin of my spiritual Self.

The answer that immediately came from Sam-el (my Higher Self, who revealed this name to me about a year ago) was that I DO have a handicap, and I have yet to overcome it.

As I asked Sam-el to go on, I heard that EVERYONE comes into this life with a lack or disability, that the physical ones are only a small portion of the spectrum, and that we CHOOSE to take them on for a common purpose. Once that purpose is achieved, the disability becomes irrelevant to our lives, but that in order to compel us to achieve the purpose, the specific disability must be something particularly difficult for the individual ego to bear.

Disabilities can be things like poverty, a less than pleasing appearance, or a lack of freedom, support or community. In my case, Sam-el revealed, my disability is the lack of several types of partnership that I have always fervently desired and am not currently enjoying in my life – the intimate kind; the sustained, soul-based work/business variety; and the type that comes from a group of people working together, up close and persistently, on a cause that is dear to their hearts.

This lack has caused me to cry myself to sleep many nights, scheme about how to fill it many days, and feel sorry for myself more times than I can remember (or like to admit). It is (or at least feels) even harder to bear because I HAVE experienced all these kinds of partnership in the past, and the brief intervals when I had them brought me so much peace and fulfillment. (I am after all a Libra, and one that has partnership written all over my chart.)

So then I asked the next logical question (and perhaps, you dear reader have already asked it yourself and are wondering when I’d get around to answering it, or perhaps since you’re so wise you already know the answer!): What is the purpose? And will knowing it help me rise above my disability, which means, will the knowledge end my suffering?

And Sam-el, who never fails to oblige me with answers when I ask the right questions, replied:

We take on disabilities to experience our Divinity.

By now I realized that I was onto something, perhaps even the core of life itself, the driving force of our evolution as spiritual beings. But to understand how and why this was so I had to examine my own disability and see what it had to teach me – maybe even finally LEARN the lesson in order to harvest the Divinity within.

So I asked, What is the gift of my aloneness?

And this time my answer came as a stream of questions.

Did the loss of your intimate relationship not force you to own your projections and encounter the hidden aspects of yourself, in the process healing (and loving) all of your Being, and learn how to give unconditional love to others? And did this not make you a better healer as well as a more peaceful human being?

Has your aloneness not provided the quiet (and the motivation) you needed to go within and commune with me? (This I heard from both Sam-el and God him/herself.)

From that communing have you not experienced Bliss – physical, emotional and spiritual – reliably and repeatedly?

Have you not felt the embrace of ascended masters, angels and beings of all realms and dimensions, and known the purity of love as it resides in your own heart?

Have you not co-created a community of souls around the world bringing peace and healing to Earth, and have you not felt their hearts beating with yours, their laughter and tears, their very breath and life energy surging in your own body?

Has your lack of partnership in work not forced you to realize your abilities and capacities as a business leader? To know in your gut that there is nothing you cannot do in this area, to commit to mastery of your field – healing and teaching – and to grow stronger and more confident with every step on this journey?

Have your clients not been your lovers as well, with an abundance of unimpeded unconditional love passing between you and them in each and every session?

Has your daughter not come to know you as a model of womanhood, as someone she can count on and take inspiration from, as a fountain of love for her?

And then I heard perhaps the most important truth of all.

Your lack, and the pain it has caused you, has made you feel different, BE different from others. And that single difference is the chink in the wall that has enabled you to tear down the entire illusion of a fixed world, run by one set of rules that applies to everyone and by which everyone is judged.

That single difference is strong enough to break through the density of matter, the oppression of bad news, the inertia of all you thought you had become and were stuck doing. It is enough to bring into question Identity and Duality themselves, the bedrock of our 3D existence.

So here’s the Truth, the core of my lesson: Nothing is as it seems. The Real lies within. Life is a game which we all play with the same FULL spiritual deck, and whose rules we get to make up as we go along. I am not alone and have never been. My aloneness has set me firmly on the path of spiritual mastery. And, like all journeys, this one has no final destination, and can be enjoyed, if I choose, for its own sake .

As for partnerships, who’s to say if mine are better or worse than those of my neighbor to whom I compare myself. Or perhaps she’s just got a different disability; may she discover its gift and thereby experience her own Divinity. For mine I’m eternally grateful.

Now here’s the link to the video I mentioned at the start of this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y80BBjJAUaI